Manipulation 101, 4 Year Old Style

I got to revert to Nanny Duty yesterday and spent a wonderful day with Kegan, Venice and Charlie.  The tides have shifted somewhat over the past year and I'm no longer viewed as an authority figure my Miss V... rather, I'm only there to "pway" wif her.  I'm not her babysitter ("Phoebe is our babysitter") and I'm not her nanny... when asked what my place is in her life, she paused for a brief second and then responded, in a "duh" voice, letting me know how dumb I am for even asking such an obvious question, "You're my DANI." 

As if I could ever forget.

Meanwhile, she's grown from a bright and charming 3 year old into a bright, charming, toosmartforherowngood, manipulative 4 year old.

Here are some conversational highlights from our day:

Saebrah, the family chihuahua, had a litter of puppies 3 weeks ago.  Being an over-achiever, Sabes cranked out 6 puppies rather than the typical 1 to 3 that chi's have.  The puppies are friggin' CUTE and a constant draw for Little Missy, who no doubt wants to shove them into the fake Prada bag I gave her and zip them in and drag them up and down the stairs. 

Meanwhile, they are living in their fenced in puppy area and are OFF LIMITS unless Mommy says so.

Venice, seeing me as something of a simpleton and a push-over (I have no idea why, cough cough), started in early yesterday morning:

Venice:  Dani, you know what would be fun?

Me:  What?

Venice:  Pwaying wif the puppies!

Me:  No.

Venice *pausing a moment*:  My momma says I can hold them.

Me:  No she doesn't.

Venice *not ready to give up*:  Yes she does.

Me:  Shall I call and ask her?

Venice:  No.

10 minutes later:

Venice:  I have an idea, Dani!  Let's hold the puppies!

Me:  No.

Venice:  But they're MY puppies.

Me:  No they're not.

Venice:  My momma says yes they are.

Me:  Shall we call her and ask?

Venice:  No.

10 minutes later:

Venice:  Dani, I just called momma and she says we should hold the puppies.

Me:  No.

Venice:  Do you want me to call her?

Me:  Yes.

Venice *pause, pause, pause*:  I'll do it later.  First let's hold the puppies.

Moving right along to manipulation, part deux:

Venice *at 8:30 a.m.*:  Dani, I'm hungryyyy.  I want popcorn.

Me:  We'll have popcorn in a little bit.  You just ate  breakfast.

Venice:  I think it's time for a snack.  I know!  Let's have POPCORN!

Me:  I have an idea!

Venice:  What?

Me:  Let's wait an hour and then we'll have popcorn!

Venice *totally not buying it*:  I think we should have it now.

Eventually, I cave and make popcorn.  Venice eyes every kernel as I pour "her share"  (more than half the bag) into a bowl.  With one eye on the bag, she admonishes me not to eat it all, as she shoves huge handfuls into her mouth.

"Share with Charles!" I tell her, as she continues to cram it in in fistfuls.

Venices pauses for a second to chew and then says, "Charles, you don't want any popcorn, do you."

Charles (whose favorite word is "no"):  No.

Venice:  Charles doesn't want any.

Me:  Charlie, you want some popcorn?

Charlie:  I want popcorn, Dani!

Venice:  Charles, you don't want popcorn, do you.

Charlie:  No.

Venice:  I guess I should eat it all.

I eventually gave Charlie his own little bowl, which Venice never took her eyes off of as he plucked one piece at a time off the top and stuck it in his mouth.  The second she stuffed in the last handful from her bowl, she shot to the other side of the table, stuck her hand in his bowl and announced, "Charlie, Dani says we have to share."

*snort*

Trust me, this child WILL one day rule the world.  Be afraid.  Be very, very afraid.